Have you ever read the horse classifieds?

…and wondered exactly what those glowing descriptions of the horse and his behavior actually means?

According to Holly Covey, we must read between the lines…

  • Easy to Catch = In a 10’x10′ stall
  • Big Trot = Won’t canter even on a 2 mile straightaway
  • Nicely Started = Lunges, but we don’t carry enough insurance to ride him
  • Top Show Horse = Won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusually low entries due to a hurricane
  • Home Bred = Top level of training was being raised on the front porch
  • Recently Vetted = Someone else found something badly wrong with him and therefore didn’t buy him
  • Big Boned = Good thing he has a mane and tail or he would be mistaken for a cow
  • Doing Courses = If tranquilized to the eyeballs and lunged 6 hrs straight before hand
  • Well Mannered = Hasn’t stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone in the last week
  • Professionally Trained = Hasn’t stepped, bitten, or kicked anyone in the last month
  • Should Mature to 16 Hands = Currently 13hh, dam is 14.2hh, sire is 15hh; every horse in pedigree 18 generations back is under 15hh, however this horse will definitely defy DNA and grow!
  • To Good Home Only = Not really for sale unless you can pay twice what he is worth
  • Bold = Will run away with you
  • Athletic = Will run away with you
  • Needs Intermediate Rider = Will run away with you
  • Needs Experienced Rider = Look out!  Will definitely run away with you!
  • Dead Broke = Just dead
  • No Vices = Especially when he wears his muzzle
  • Light Cribber = We can’t afford to build any more barns and fences for the buzz saw
  • Excellent Disposition = Never been out of his stall
  • Clips, Hauls and Loads = Clippity, clippity is the sound his hooves make when he hauls butt across the parking lot when you try to load him!

Of course, none of the GREEN BARN ponies fit any of these descriptions!!! They are all angels!!!

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